I recently joined a blog circle called “Letters to Our Sons'’ with a group of ladies from Clickin Moms. All of the lovely ladies from our group are mothers and we share a love for photography. Each month we will post a letter to our sons along with pictures. I’ am very excited for this opportunity. The whole reason why I started this blog was to document my every day with my sons and share their milestones with family and friends, but also to connect with other Mothers.
To My Precious Boys,
Over the course of the next year I will be writing you the most mushy love letters, that I ’am sure one day will embarrass you. What are Moms for right? However, I also plan to write you letters of wisdom and advice that I hope that you can learn from and live by. I decided my first letter to you will not be about how much I love you both, or how much you have made me the happiest person in the world. I know I show you every day how true that is. I wanted to to talk to you about something else that at your tender age of 3 and 5 you will not understand. Maybe when you are reading this as a teenager or as a parent yourself you will finally comprehend the magnitude of my love for you and the importance of this job we call parenting.
When I was pregnant with my first born (Diego) I was mentally prepared to be the best Mom I could be. I wanted to be the Martha Stewart of all Moms. I had all these wonderful activities and ideas planned for when my little dude came into this world. I slowly learned that Motherhood is not as easy as it seems. Lack of sleep and baby blues were just things I didn’t imagine I would ever experience. There were and still are times that I have no idea what I’ am doing. From the time Diego had a major diaper spill in the car and I had no backup clothes in the diaper bag and so he rode naked until we reached Target. Also, the number of times Dylan may have fallen out of my bed because I let him sleep with me. Oops! I still question whether I’m making the right decisions. I wonder if you will forever be traumatized because I didn’t buy you that toy you cried for. I worry every day that I did not prepare Diego enough for his first year of school. Maybe I have should have done more, but at times I know I should have done less. I'm not the perfect Mom that I hoped to be, but I'am still a Mom that loves you dearly even though your baby books are not filled out with all your important milestones.
Over the years I have become much more relaxed. Gone are the days of strict schedules and routine. I try to be in the moment as much as possible. Everyday I’ am learning to let you learn things on your own, instead of always cleaning up after you or fixing things for you and expecting you to be “perfect” I’ am human. I will make mistakes and so will you. Together we will learn and grow. Each morning we will get up and together tackle the day and do it all over again the next day.
I want you know that when I discipline you, I still love you. When I don’t buy you a toy, I still love you. That when I make a mistake and lose you at the school carnival, I still love you. When I raise my voice, I still love you. When I ask you to make better choices, it’s because I love you and I know you both are great kids that are capable of more. Every thing that I do is out of love for you. When you are teenagers I will surely make you upset and you will think I don’t understand and you might not like me very much. I will still love you. That’s what Mothers are for.
As we always say just before we doze off at night, I love you both to the moon and back! Higher than the stars in the sky.
Next in the Circle is Michelle Mez | Michelle Mez Photography
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